The Art of Pacing Your Wedding Day: How to Slow Down and Savor the Moment
Photo by Mégane Crozes
Weddings, in all their joyful chaos, have a tendency to fly by. Ask any couple, and they'll tell you that the day they spent months—if not years—planning was over in the blink of an eye. But what if, with a few thoughtful tweaks, you could truly slow down and savor the day, creating memories that feel a little less fleeting?
Best Events Co’s lead wedding planner Samantha Bottomley, a wedding consultant with over a decade of experience designing seamless, beautiful celebrations, shares her top tips for pacing your wedding day in a way that leaves room for the most important detail: enjoying it.
Start the Day with Intentional Time Together
If you’re happy seeing each other on the morning of your destination wedding, Samantha recommends beginning your wedding day on a note of privacy and calm. “It’s so easy to get swept into the logistical whirlwind from the moment you wake up. But consider starting your day with something grounding—whether it’s a quiet breakfast, a walk through your favorite park, or simply sitting together in your home, soaking in the moment,” she advises.
Not only does this provide you both with a private, peaceful start, but it also reminds you what the day is really about: each other. Setting aside 30 to 60 minutes in the morning can create a buffer between the outside world and the personal emotions of the day ahead.
Embrace Breaks Throughout the Day
One of the most overlooked wedding day strategies, Samantha notes, is incorporating short breaks throughout the schedule. “You’d be surprised how just five minutes here and there to catch your breath can reset your energy,” she says. Whether it’s after the ceremony, during cocktail hour, or just before dinner, these small pauses allow you to step back, take it all in, and let the magnitude of the day sink in.
“Having a private moment after the ceremony to say, ‘We did it,’ or sneaking away before the reception starts, can ground you in the present and help stave off that overwhelming feeling that the day is slipping away,” Samantha adds.
Build Extra Time into Every Element
In the flurry of creating a wedding timeline, couples often underestimate how long each part of the day will take. According to Samantha, this is a major contributor to wedding day stress. “Rushing from one step to the next not only causes unnecessary anxiety but robs you of the ability to actually enjoy the experience,” she warns.
Instead, Samantha advises adding extra time into every stage—from hair and makeup to the ceremony and even speeches. “A well-paced day leaves room for the unexpected. Your hair might take longer than you think, or your cousin might have a surprise speech prepared. Build in at least 15 to 30 extra minutes here and there to ensure you’re never feeling pressed for time,” she explains.
Challenge Tradition: A More Relaxed Flow
One of the simplest ways to give yourself more breathing room is to challenge traditional timelines. “Couples often feel they need to stick to a rigid format, but today’s weddings are more flexible than ever,” Samantha says.
For example, Samantha suggests opting for a late afternoon ceremony if you want more time to relax in the morning. This allows a more leisurely start, perhaps with a late brunch or a yoga session with close friends. Alternatively, if you’re early risers, an intimate sunrise ceremony followed by a long, leisurely lunch can give you the evening to unwind or have a more laid-back reception.
Another idea is to spread out the formalities. “Why rush all the speeches into one window after dinner? Space them out throughout the night so there’s time to breathe in between. Maybe start with a toast at the end of cocktail hour, then move to another after dinner, allowing space for dancing and conversation in between.”
Be Present in the Little Moments
At its core, Samantha believes that pacing your wedding day is really about staying present. “It’s easy to get caught up in what’s happening next. But the moments you’ll cherish the most are often the ones you weren’t even expecting: the look on your partner’s face during the vows, the joy on your parents’ faces, or the sound of your friends’ laughter during dinner.”
By building in these intentional pauses and allowing for flexibility, you’re giving yourself permission to be present in the little moments that make your wedding day truly unforgettable.
The Takeaway
At the end of the day, pacing is about taking control of your schedule so it doesn’t control you. “By allowing plenty of time for each part of the day and stepping away occasionally to catch your breath, you’ll be able to soak up every precious moment,” Samantha advises.
So, as you plan your timeline, remember: the goal isn’t to tick every box, but to create space for joy, connection, and presence. Because in the end, those are the memories that will linger long after the day is over.